Honestly...

I want to lose weight so I can have a baby. Though there are many things I don't like about being overweight. I've never embraced my plus size body. I know there are some great things about it.

1. I have boobs. I remember when I finally started getting boobs period they were small. Before gaining weight I was a C cup. It wasn't enough to make cleavage or anything, but they were cute. Now they are much bigger and sexy.

2. My already big ass is bigger. Men love big butts and I don't know why lol so I get a lot of attention.  Though not always good attention. :(

3. 1 + 2 = an hourglass shape. I have an awesome shape now. I was completely pear shaped before and I felt so awkward, but now it's smokin hot (when I dress for it).

I love babies. Since moving to Minneapolis I see a lot more people than I did in Houston. I see at least 2 to 4 pregnant women A DAY! When I first moved here it make me sad because they had babies and I didn't. Now I am used to it and I try to not let it bother me. I figured maybe my body is broken. If I eat healthy (switch to vegan foods), exercise, and lose weight my body will work again and I'll get pregnant.

For as long as I can remember weight has been a topic I heard a lot growing up. I didn't have weight issues till my junior or senior year in high school, but my mom had weight issues. She would often talk about what was ok and not ok to eat. I remember one time I asked why she uses margarine instead of butter (like my grandmother) and she said the people on tv said it was better for you. I now feel like they were wrong. My butter eating grandmother lived till she was 96 and my margarine eating mom lived till she was 69. This is my theory, but I don't want weight to be an issue for my future children. I figure if I learn to live and eat healthy my children will too and suffer with weight issues as I did. Children shouldn't have to worry about weight, just be children.

These might not be healthy thoughts, but it helps to let them out. I want to love my body the way it is and then I can learn to treat it right naturally.