On my way home from work today...

this guy stops me and here is how the conversation went. Then I have a question to ask.

Him - I know you. We met last year.
Me - No I don't know you. We've never met. I think you have me confused.
Him - We did meet. You gave me your number, but I never called.
Me - No I wouldn't have given you my number. (Was that rude? lol)
Him - Why not? Are you married or with someone? You can't have male friends?
Me - Yeah I was in a relationship so I wouldn't have done that.
Him - Why not? People exchange numbers all the time. Women have male friends when they are in relationships. Some women prefer male friends rather than female friends.
Me - True, but that seems disrespectful to me. (I say this knowing full well that my ex was getting numbers while we were together.)
Him - I understand if you've been with someone for 20 years that you wouldn't do that, but for years it's ok. If you don't then something might be wrong with you.
Me - Well I wouldn't have done that.
Him - Ok well I just wanted to say hi.

Ok. What are you thoughts about women or men getting numbers from the opposite sex while in a relationship?

I do think it's disrespectful to that relationship. Nothing wrong with making friends. Let say you are taking a class with someone or you run into this person all the time at the store. You might start conversations and it is friendly. They are probably in a relationship too. You could exchange numbers because ya'll are just cool and enjoy talking. True friends with no motives. This weekend I met this guy on the train and we talked for about half the ride. Him I would have given my number to. Why? Because #1 I think he's gay. (he was talking about doing a drag show) #2 I enjoyed our conversation. He seemed like a really cool person I would love to be friends with. I never meet people like that. However if someone come up to you like, "Hey can I get cho numba?" "No sorry I'm in a relationship." Am I wrong? Opinions please!

Bad News First

I didn't intend to share this information, but a conversation spark some thoughts I had. My stepgrandmother recently passed away. I've known since I was little, but I really didn't know her that well. She was very nice though and I know she will be missed greatly by many. 

My sister is currently living with my dad and my grandfather will now most likely move in too. She is afraid he might die while she is alone with him. I told her I understood. I had much more to say about it, but I know my sister and she doesn't like to talk about things that make her uncomfortable. Yet I need to get my thoughts out so here I am. 

Not many people can say they understand how she feels and really mean it. I unfortunately know from experience. I think I've mentioned before that my mom passed away. It will be 3 years next  month. She would tell me for months the she would get better and everything was ok. I think a few weeks before my mom passed things were different. A little back around information, my mom and I were living together. I worked full time, but I spent my mornings, lunch, and evenings caring for her. The last 2 months were very difficult for both of us. Her mom (my grandmother) passed away October 2010. My mom was sad for a few weeks then she was different. Suddenly she wanted to see people and I knew she was going to die. I didn't want to see her go. I'd hope that when I came to help her in the morning she'd be gone, but I don't think anyone wants to die alone. Especially if they aren't feeling well. If possible you want to be around family. So a few days before Thanksgiving I came home from work as usual. I almost didn't go to work. I felt that maybe I should stay home, but when I asked my mom she said I should go. Something didn't seem right and I thought I should be there just in case, but I went to work. When I came home from lunch she called me to come quickly. I dropped my things and ran to the room. She said she felt uncomfortable and wanted me to rub her back. This had been going on for awhile so I knew what to do except she never said she was uncomfortable. She was laying down, but I could rub her back. She said that wasn't helping and asked me to help her sit up quickly. I did  as quickly as I could and started rubbing her back again. She was very quiet and after a few minutes I looked at her and asked if that was helping. After that she almost laid back as if in slow motion and she was gone.

For me it was a traumatic experience that I am still trying to heal from, but I know that is probably what she needed. So I understand that my sister doesn't want to experience such a situation, but you don't know what that person needs or what is best for them. I suppose it may or may not matter, but I'd like to think I brought my mom a little comfort. That it helped to see one of her children before she left the earth. I'm not an expert, but those are my thoughts. Please share your thoughts and experiences.

My Two Cents...

about the 50 Shades of Grey movie. I actually haven't seen any blogs about it. There are probably tons, but I've been watching Wendy Williams and she has been dishing about the recent cast change. She has also give her opinion about who should now play Christian Grey.

I actually have only read part of the first book. I just could not get into it. I actually don't get why everyone likes it. However I love movies and if the preview is good I will go see it. When attempting to read the book I always pictured someone like Christian Bale. Though I feel he isn't young enough to play this character. i do think he can pull it off because I think about how crazy, but cool he was in American Psycho. I would like to see Cillian Murphy play Christian Gray. He is so cute, lovely eyes, and (I think) a great actor. He reminds me of Christian Bales sometimes. Thought he is only a few years younger than Christian.

Doesn't really matter to me. I just wanted to say what I was thinking. I watch movies because it looks good and rarely because so and so is in it.

The Thigh High Boot

The Thigh High Boot by beautyasiseeit featuring boots

Boots
nastygal.com

Boots
nastygal.com

20 Things I Would Do If I Had No Restrictions and Knew I Wouldn't Feel Guilty About It

If you read my previous post here, then you know I mentioned that I created a list of 20 things. Well here it is. What would you put on your list?

1. Quit my job.

2. Move to New York.

3. Take a trip to a couple of places - Paris being one of them.

4. Start singing in public.

5. Do some voice work or some type of acting. 

6. Do more art. 

7. Take some sewing classes

8. Language classes - French and Spanish

9. Workout as much as you could.

10. Become vegan

11. Let my hair do what it wants to do and not care about what anyone else thinks.

12. Wear what I want to wear. 

13. Save more.

14. Get married and start a family - Revised

15. Stop lending money to your ex. 

16. Stop wearing make up. (more to come)

17. Be a model.

18. Learn to play tennis.

19. Open a home decor store

20. Get a motorcycle. 

Have You Considered...

getting a life coach? A few months ago my place of employment offered a type of lunch and learn and we listened as a life coach speak to us about finding out what we value, what makes you who you are and how to find happiness. Her name was Jasna Burza and she asked for volunteers and I raised my hand. I was so glad I did. She called me up and asked me a few questions. By the end I was crying. She explained that has never happened before and it wasn't her intention to get me to cry. The tears were worth it because it was the beginning to helping me to accept my true self. The begining of me accepting MY goals and not what others think.

After that event. I really really superdiduper wanted a life coach, but Jasna was about to give birth at any moment and I was afraid she'd be super expensive. I didn't bother to try and figured one day maybe I'll do it. A few weeks later I get an email notification from Twitter that Demetria Jackson was offering FREE life coaching sessions for 3 months. At first I thought, I don't know her. Is she good? And I ignored the email. I got another email. There are only 7 spots left! I thought, this is what you wanted. Why are you playing? I immeditately replied and I got in. I was excited.

Monday, September 9, 2013 was my last session. I learned a lot about myself and that I can have what I want. I discovered that I am an ARTIST. I enjoy using my hands to create (I like things old school, I rarely use of computers to create). I will make $20,000 more than I do now next year. After the first time I said that I thought, can I do that? Well Yes I Can! I can do anything! The thought is a little scary. To think that I could actually do what makes me happy. That I could be happy. Truely happy. We all deserve that.

My 3 months with Demetria was great. I would recommend her to anyone. I recommend a life coach to everyone. She taught me how to think of things differently. That making list are ok (I used to tease my sister for always making list. Now I get it.) She helped me create a list of 20 things I want to do. I'll create another post for that. Some things I've started on and as I work on it I will update the list. Somethings I think I will tweek a little, but you'll see it soon. She helped me to let go of what others thought. She taught me to just take one step. It sounds so simple, but we often only see where we want to be and can't imagine how to get there. Just start. That is all you have to do and eventually you'll look up and realize #1 how far you've gotten and #2 that you reached your goal. I learned that in our first session. It has helped me with some of the goals I've started to work on. I look at opportunities with less of a side eye because you never know what you will learn from them.

Have you considered or used a life coach? Share you expereince. I'd love to hear it.