My sister is currently living with my dad and my grandfather will now most likely move in too. She is afraid he might die while she is alone with him. I told her I understood. I had much more to say about it, but I know my sister and she doesn't like to talk about things that make her uncomfortable. Yet I need to get my thoughts out so here I am.
Not many people can say they understand how she feels and really mean it. I unfortunately know from experience. I think I've mentioned before that my mom passed away. It will be 3 years next month. She would tell me for months the she would get better and everything was ok. I think a few weeks before my mom passed things were different. A little back around information, my mom and I were living together. I worked full time, but I spent my mornings, lunch, and evenings caring for her. The last 2 months were very difficult for both of us. Her mom (my grandmother) passed away October 2010. My mom was sad for a few weeks then she was different. Suddenly she wanted to see people and I knew she was going to die. I didn't want to see her go. I'd hope that when I came to help her in the morning she'd be gone, but I don't think anyone wants to die alone. Especially if they aren't feeling well. If possible you want to be around family. So a few days before Thanksgiving I came home from work as usual. I almost didn't go to work. I felt that maybe I should stay home, but when I asked my mom she said I should go. Something didn't seem right and I thought I should be there just in case, but I went to work. When I came home from lunch she called me to come quickly. I dropped my things and ran to the room. She said she felt uncomfortable and wanted me to rub her back. This had been going on for awhile so I knew what to do except she never said she was uncomfortable. She was laying down, but I could rub her back. She said that wasn't helping and asked me to help her sit up quickly. I did as quickly as I could and started rubbing her back again. She was very quiet and after a few minutes I looked at her and asked if that was helping. After that she almost laid back as if in slow motion and she was gone.
For me it was a traumatic experience that I am still trying to heal from, but I know that is probably what she needed. So I understand that my sister doesn't want to experience such a situation, but you don't know what that person needs or what is best for them. I suppose it may or may not matter, but I'd like to think I brought my mom a little comfort. That it helped to see one of her children before she left the earth. I'm not an expert, but those are my thoughts. Please share your thoughts and experiences.
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